Thank You Next x Time 2 Heal


Alright y'all so you know I love to be super transparent about my life with you guys, I'm not one of those people who believes in flexing all the good and internalizing all of the struggles on the road to success.

But...

When it comes to relationships after being through so much and I mean so much, it's kind've tempting to stay super PRIVATE about my relationships.

As you all know I have been riding an emotional roller coaster of failures and successes with past relationships, and for a while all of my other relationships including those outside of my spouse were failing,

BECAUSE...

I FAILED TO HEAL

I WAS SO CLOSED OFF

AND PROTECTIVELY SELFISH

I literally have always been told

Felicity You are absolutely perfect,

▷ You Cook

▷ You Clean

▷ You have your own business

▷ You are ambitious

▷ You are getting an education

like WOW Felicity your doing so well for your age.

And of course :

I always answer extremely humble with a

Thank You I TRY My Best Type Of Response

But in the back of my head i'm just like oh boy here it comes ...

Because when this question is asked to you by a man it usually follows with…

HOW COULD YOU BE SINGLE.

And for a longtime I didn't understand it either

But with growth I've come to learn that it was because I was

SHITTY internally

You can't make shit not stink, you can cover up shit with a ton of febreeze but it only changes the smell around you and...

TEMPORARILY.

The only way to get rid of that SHIT smell is to FLUSH IT

+ Deep Clean the Toilet.

and in this case for me

that analogy meant

TO HEAL

MY SHIT STANK

And NO matter how hard all of my good characteristics tried to cover these things up, Deep down you still are who you are, and the people that you allow to get close enough will be able to see that.

I allowed my trauma from past relationships to affect the new ones. I expected the same hurt & Betrayal over time from potential partners and it made trust almost impossible. I would not allow any man to access me ...

THE REAL ME

I was super selective of how I wanted a mans depiction of me to be.

But eventually you get tired of acting,

Sometimes you just want to risk it all and be yourself.

But...

After being cheated on in such a serious a long term relationship I started to question whether simply being me was even good enough ?

I KNOW NOW THAT IT IS !!!

thanks to my current boyfriend who stuck with me through all my bs,

and was somehow able to soften me up and

LOVE ME FOR ME

ALL OF ME

With him I can be my silly cookie self and

I LOVE THAT ...

THE POINT IS

HURT PEOPLE - HURT PEOPLE

If you don't heal what you hurt …. You will Bleed On People

After many failed attempts at relationships with men, friends, and family I am super proud to be able to SAY... I HAVE HEALED. I don't think people realize how much strength it takes to pull yourself out of a dark place mentally so if you have done that today, or any day

I AM PROUD OF YOU!

HEALING IS IMPORTANT

Healing allows us to reclaim our power. It gives us the opportunity to fit the pieces back together in such a way so that we are stronger than ever before.

Word Of Advice

Go through it, not around it.

I realize the most difficult task for a person with a broken heart is to stand still and feel the crack. But it's essential to take this time to Restore your relationship with yourself. If you decide to get into a new relationship when you're still not completely over your ex, it's not fair to you, and it's not fair to your possible new boo, either.

TRUST ME - IT WILL ONLY LEAD TO CHAOS

DATE YOURSELF FOR A WHILE !!!

IT'S CLICHE I KNOW

But like seriously

When your dating you tend to lose bits and pieces of yourself in order to make the relationship work.

ITS NORMAL

Compromise is one of the main requirements in a relationship

it's easy to lose parts of yourself.

EVEN IF IT'S THE SMALL THINGS

For example: Food

I absolutely love salmon but my partner did not eat seafood so I found myself cooking it less and less until I completed stopped just out of habit.

BUT SHIT

Guess what i would do ?

Make a nice baked salmon meal with a side of mac and cheese and broccoli and mediate. WHY ?

BECAUSE THAT IS ME | THAT IS WHAT I LIKE

During this time of meditation you come to the realization that there's so many little things you missed about yourself that you completely forgotten about

rEfleCT oN WHAT YOU LeaRNed

Redefine what is is you want and don't want in a man.

Write down what you liked and didnt like in your past relationship

alongside your personal faults and how you can improve these traits in your new relationship moving forward.

Who knows how long it will take you to heal there isn't any concrete answer to that question … { weeks, months, or even years.} I can't be the one to tell you that Every situation is different and each person heals in their own time.

The important thing is that you noticed your weakness and toxicity and took the time out to heal so that you could be emotionally and mentally

available for a yourself and for a new relationship.

PS I LOVE YOU

Love does mean sometimes having to say you're sorry. and I do genuinely have love for all individuals who were hurt in my time of transition of heartbreak. I am woman enough to own my faults and I am sorry that i could not love you correctly because I could not even love myself correctly.

Loving someone with a broken heart and a 10ft concrete wall could not have been easy, and I appreciate you for trying. Please know that every one of you played a detrimental part in my growth and happy ending,

Love Always Felicity,